“Today I can’t swallow” – a poem by Yvonne McClaren – March 2022
Two years post treatment and today I just can’t manage.
I naively thought things would improve.
How wrong can you be. I now know that things trigger this onset of dysphagia. Mostly I try to ignore it, that niggling feeling in my jaw bone where the flesh has pulled away. My tongue when it refuses to go in the direction I want it to go, the tenderness where it was removed, my ears with their constant buzzing and the fact that I simply can’t swallow anymore. Something so simple causes so much anxiety grief and uncertainty.
Today it was a list of things that has brought me to my bed in the middle of the afternoon.
I simply wanted to check out for a while.
Today I can’t swallow
The simplicity of soup is beyond me, soft pudding and cream, water, everything creating more issues and more coughing, spitting and despair.
Today I can’t swallow.
We take for granted small things, like grazing, absently picking at a food platter, knowing the freedom of eating out, socialising, talking, praising and being part of something other than the club of dysphagia.
Happy international swallow awareness day. #SAD
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